Babes in Toyland

Gotta hand it to the folks at Planet Toys. They smelt blood and went for it. How best to cash in on television’s forensic frenzy?

Introducing the HOTTEST toys inspired by the smash-hit CSI! Junior’s a loser if he doesn’t get one of these under the tree this December:

First up, the CSI: Crime Scene Forensic Lab:

This baby comes complete with ” sterilized hair samples, synthetic blood samples and a blood-analysis tray”. Hey, kids! Do your own analysis and see if you were adopted!

Says one Amazon kid reviewer, “I love this toy it is the bomb. I want to be a CSI agent when I grow up this will help me be like katherin Willows CSI agent”

CSI Special Agent Katherine Willows

Next we have the deluxe DNA Laboratory:

Complete with a working centrifuge, an electrophoresis chamber, and a three-speed motorized lab unit… hell you could whip up your own batch of Anthrax!

Finally there’s my personal favorite, the Forensic Facial Reconstruction Kit:

This facial reconstruction kit comes with a featureless plastic skull totally stripped of identity, and there are predetermined holes already drilled in to the head for easy peg placement.


But one reviewer appears to be a bit of a party-pooper:

“Why do we reconstruct faces? because a person was usually killed. be realistic. that is why. if this age appropriate level is correct…. EIGHT YEARS old… why would a parent buy such a toy for their child. and the average eight year old is thinking man, i want to be a coroner. A child who is thinking he/she wants to deal with deceased bodies usually has issues. I wouldn’t recommend this toy for any child under the age of fourteen, period and I’m appalled that it was put out on the market”

Take it easy, grandma… it’s science man! Think of the lives saved if Dahmer had these babies to experiment on!

Coming soon, The Body Farm – Home Edition. Everything you need to transform your backyard into an anthropological dumping ground.


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