Yer Mourning Newz


That’s what this recession needs, a hero. Something to distract us from the truth that our nation is going to hell-in-a-hand-basket. God, the press will be chewing on this to our eternal oblivion, as we slide down the economic spiral to the inevitable doomsday scenario of the quartering of the nation (as prophesied by Russian propaganda-niks):
You want a hero-pilot? I got your hero-pilot… Porkins:

Yes, Porkins
“Welcome to Circuit City, were service is…” Bankrupt!  And how ’bout Nortel: their whimpering death only took 10 years. Geologic Ages have died faster. 
What are the odds? In fact that’s just what the non-profit director asked when she told CNN, “With a [rape] ranking that high, it’s ironic that the person who wins is a convicted sex offender,”
She was referring to Alaska’s ranking as the worst in the nation for number of rapes.  Where’s the irony? Someone had to win, with a ranking that high chances were it might have been a sex offender.

Even my 8-year-old got this one right

We were discussing the Fab Four, the Liverpool Lads, the Magical Mystical Men…. I said, fill in the blanks… When you’re a child and silly your favorite Beatle is…
You grow older and are all about love and your favorite is…
You reach adulthood and you’re all about rebellion so your favorite is…
And in final maturity when you become wise your favorite is…
(actually I think the last one came more from the process of elimination)

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